Cross-cultural relationships are always complicated, but I’ve found my relationships with Polish men to be much simpler than with their American counterparts. Is it possible that men in Poland and men in America are strikingly different in terms of dating and relationships? Men are men everywhere, aren’t they? What differences does it make if they live here, in Australia, or in Argentina? Let’s get straight down to business: Polish guys just don’t play games like Americans guys do.
Ok, ok I’m aware that there are a few factors leading to this opinion. Firstly, I started dating Polish men after college. Maybe in high school and university all guys are the same but I was 22 when I came here so… it wasn’t like we were that mature. Also, I stand out, so maybe that’s why I didn’t have trouble finding dates in Poland. Or perhaps it’s just the guys I’ve dated. But let’s lay those aside for a minute so I can tell you what I really think.
For me, Polish men overall seem to be more down to earth. I barely dated in college (I went to the University of Florida) Why is that? I almost never got asked out. Guys were pretentious. It was like they wanted you to come to them or they thought they were too good for you. And when they did show interest, it was short-lived or you had to hunt them down for another date. The games were maddening. Granted, there weren’t a lot of great options for women so the guys had their pick and knew they could easily find someone else, especially if they were good-looking. Basically, I always felt like guys were keeping you at arm’s length just in case something better came along.
Anyway, here’s how it worked for me here in Poland. I met a guy when I first moved here and we immediately started dating. When we broke up 3 years later, my husband-then-student, asked me out one week later. So I haven’t been single much since I moved to Poland. I went from not dating much for 3-4 years to that. A dramatic turn for the better if you ask me. So why is it exactly? Like I said, maybe it’s because I’m different, or is it that Polish men are more mature?
Not only that, I know a lot of couples in America who have been or were together for years and years before getting married. I mean like 6-7 years in college and after and just couldn’t commit. I’m not sure why. I’m not saying that marriage is necessary. Even I think it’s a little old fashioned nowadays. You need it if you’re in a binational relationship but, otherwise, I get why people don’t get married. However, it does show that you’re committed to one another.
In Poland, it doesn’t seem like the majority of people have commitment problems, another sign of maturity. It’s rather the opposite here. It’s more like they avoid changing partners. Not that I would ever condone this, but the number of high school/college sweethearts I’ve met is like astronomical. Is it because Poland is a more religious and traditional country? Possibly. People feel the pressure to get married early from their family or society? Could be. Generally, Poles seem to get married earlier than Americans, even right after college around 24 or 25. Does that make Poles more relationship-oriented? Less… skeezy? Maybe they prefer the security and the *cough* hygiene one partner provides. Are Poles really more willing to commit than Americans? It certainly seems so. Or maybe just the men in Poland just aren’t afraid to show that they love and need their women.
Like I said, maybe I’m just overanalyzing and men are the same everywhere… or maybe there’s something in it? Am I the only one who sees it? Has anyone had a similar experience?