Have you never spent a night – or every night of your entire existence – on a futon? Eaten żurek in a bread bowl? Stood awkwardly in an entryway waiting for someone to just leave already? If you’ve never done the 30 things in this article, you might not live in the same Poland I do.
1. Seen an apartment (or lived in one!) with a shower in the kitchen. One of my friends sent me a video of her new place… the shower is in the kitchen.
2. Had your day made by the discovery of a prawdziwek.
3. Hiked to in the Tatras alongside people wearing sneakers.
4. Gone for a vacation nad Bałtykiem only to have it rain the entire trip.
5. Enjoyed a zapiekanka or kebab after leaving the bar in the wee hours and really regretted it in the morning.
6. Drunk coffee with the coffee grounds mixed in.
7. Eaten kiełbasa your neighbor made from scratch.
8. Worn a mask to protect you not from Covid-19 but the killer smog.
9. Been stuck in summer traffic for hours at the tollbooths on the A4.
10. Been jealous of your neighbors because they got a new whatever.
11. Felt really awkward giving a couple wishes at their wedding. Ditto for Christmas Eve.
12. Collected a bucket of wild blueberries in the forest and couldn’t get the blue off your fingers.
13. Lived in a place with purple, orange or lime-green walls. (My first apartment had all three!)
14. Realized your neighbors know everything about you and you’ve never even met.
15. Asked “kto jest ostatni?” even though you have an appointment at the doctor at a specific time.
16. Danced drunkenly and ironically to disco polo at a wedding.
17. Waited in traffic to get to the ski slopes, waited again in line to buy a ski pass, waited again again in line for the ski lift x number of minutes and hours just to ski 500 meters 5 times.
18. Used the word “masakra” even though it really wasn’t that bad.
19. Gone to Mazury for a trip, again it rained the whole time, but you realized Polish sailors really know how to party.
20. Had a bad day and said to yourself “Rzucam wszystko i wyjeźdżam w Bieszczady.”
21. Gone to enjoy nature on Majówka only to realize half of Poland had the same idea.
22. Paid a security deposit on a flat only to never see it again.
23. Been asked if you’re in line when, yes, you are clearly waiting in line, you’re just not breathing down the neck of the person in front of you.
24. Taken the train with a family who brought an entire picnic lunch along for the ride.
25. Tried to enjoy some true Polish cultural sights only to have it ruined by stragany full of Chinese junk.
26. Had someone suggest that perhaps you’re sick because there was a draft.
27. Visited a babcia with a credenza full of crystal that never actually gets used.
28. Wanted to scream because the person who’s behind you in line keeps touching you with their shopping cart.
29. Had someone ask you why your kid isn’t wearing a hat.
30. Made your own kiszonki. Hello, ogórki małosolne!
Got any ideas of your own? Leave them in the comments below!